It’s really big and it does feel like a dorm room. I’m going to turn my computer around so that you can see it, it’s a little dark. I have a great view onto the small park. But see I have a desk and couch and a TV and a put like, pictures up and like, books.
It’s pretty snazzy here though. I feel like, excited, honestly. It does feel like I’ve moved into…like I’m going to boarding school or I’m going to college. You know I have new iPod speakers and all this stuff.
Obviously I think I’m in denial a little bit about what’s going to happen but I’m feeling pretty confident about things. And I feel good physically other than some pain in my neck. I can’t really turn my head that well.
But I’m trying not to give myself any illusions because last time, and the first time I went into the hospital I felt equally excited and really sort of amazed by all this new stuff and these new things happening to me. And if felt like that maybe for a week and then when I got sick that newness and that excitement faded very quickly.
And very soon after that I was feeling kind of cooped up and a little crazy and desperate to go outside and get some fresh air. And this is more extreme because I’m not even allowed to walk outside my room.
It’s been really exciting for me because since my piece came out last Thursday I’ve gotten so many emails and messages from people all over the world and lots and lots of young women around my age with everything from breast cancer to colon cancer to leukemia etc.
I’m really excited about feeling connected to this new community. I anticipate that at some point I’m going to be too tired to do any writing so I have a list of silly rom-coms to force my boyfriend to watch with me which will be pretty exciting. Sleepy can come too.