That’s me – before you judge me you have to realize my dating life hasn’t exactly been stellar,

I lock myself out of my apartment,

I Do you mind if I use your phone?,

When every guy you run into, seems to be on the run,

Do you think the woman coming out of your apartment could have helped you with the “ being lock out” problem ?,

I look at this as trying to avoid hurt feelings,

It’s the time to face the facts,

How many relationships do I have to have before I meet the right guy,

In America 96% of women who have been with 20 or more lovers, can’t find a husband,

20?

That number seems very high,

No it’s low,

I am not going to sleep with one more guy until I am sure he’s the one,

That’s disgusting Donald, I dated him,

Donald? It is you,

This is my fiancee, she’s a rocket scientist,

I’m marrying with a scientist too. ,

He doesn’t look smart either,

̀Is it possible that all my exes get better with time?,

You help my track down with my exes, I’ll help you escape yours,

You got a deal,

What about Jerry Perry?,

He’s a puppeteer, so he’s single?,

You should give me your number. We should catch up,

Hey babe. You’re looking good,

You know what, I think I’m all caught up,

Oh guys,

What about Simon Forestor,

Alley. It’s brilliant to see you,

Simon, I can’t believe it,

This is Collin but he has to go now,

No I don’t,

What happened?,

My British accent was rusty and I went all Borat,

So, we go dancing. Eh?,

How about some dinner tonight?,

Are you tracking all your old boyfriends so that you don’t go over 20?,

I’ll stop as soon as I fall in love,

Wow, I wouldn’t have known I was gay if I hadn’t dated you,

Oh,

I feel like everyone is moving on with their lives but me,

How do you know what you want? You don’t know who you are,

I have to go to my sister’s wedding alone,

I’ll go with you,

Would you do that?,

Yeah,

Sometimes you can’t live life by the numbers,

You have to figure it out as you go along,

I know that I’m not perfect,

I wanna be with somebody who appreciates me,

Jerry? It’s Ally,

Oh, doesn’t ring a bell,

We dated- for like 3 monthsl,

Oh, let’s see how things are going now,

Oh. Ally. of course,

What is your number?,