So what's the meanest lie you ever told to get someone out first thing in the morning?
I have to meet my wife for breakfast.

You've got a little wing sauce...
Where?
In this general area.

Dad!
You know, I just thought maybe it'd be fun if I DJ'd your hookup.
What was rule?
Just because I can hear you through the wall, doesn't mean I get to participate.
Right.

I'm leaving in 6 weeks.
We're saying...
..Keep it light
...disease free and light.

Six weeks too fast. Me like you.
Erin!
I'll be here, and you'll be there, it will be long distance, because I'm crazy about you.
I'm crazy about you too.
You want a hug?
Okay buddy.
Why are your eyes closed?
Are yours not closed?
No.

Is Erin there please?
I miss you already.

What are you doing?
Nothing, what are you doing?
Nothing.
You need to be clear about what this relationship is.

Can you see other people?
I mean he could be out there dry-humping half of New York City right now.
Oh, that's scandalous.
Dry humping is no joke.

I haven't seen my girlfriend in a while, and I'm losing my mind.
Phone sex, and lot's of it.

I'm on top
Uh, I'm on top, how can you be on top?
Didn't I say we were in your car?
No, we're on a plane.
This isn't really working

I like the airplane. People do cars too much.

I've done the long distance thing...
Where are you?
Huh?

...and it's hard.
Please just tell me that you trust me.
You know Garret how much I love my sister, so don't break her heart.

I really want to come out and see you.
Are we going to do something about your veiny, white skin?

Tanning will begin
Tastes gross! Tastes like poison!

Phil!
They came in so fast, I didn't know where to go.
These mashed potatoes are amazing.
Mmmmm.