Time : 2020-01-21 22:30:51
Điểm: 7/10
Dear Ms. Beth Scarlet,

I am really sorry that my dog often barks at night and makes loud noises, which disturbs you as well as your little daughter. In fact, my wife and I have been absent from home for a week on a business trip. Thus, I am not able to take good care of my dog. Today, I write to you. I truly apologize to you.

Actually, Lisa, my dog's name is very gentle, and I can guarantee the safety of your family members. But recently, she has caught a cold and it made her annoyed so she could not sleep at night. Perhaps that is the reason for her actions barking at night. Therefore, I took her to the veterinarian. The veterinarian said that she needed laryngeal surgery so she could not make loud noises at night. Thus, I hope that after operating, you will no longer suffer from any discomfort caused by the dog.

Thank you for letting me know your problem. Also, I would like to thank you for your sincere suggestion. I hope this bad situation will end soon. Please accept my apology if this problem annoyed you in the last period. I hope that your worries will disappear as soon as possible and I always welcome your comments again in the future. I believe we are amicable neighbours.

Best regards,
Mr. Donald

Nhận xét của giáo viên :

Dear Ms. Beth Scarlet,

I am really sorry that my dog often barks at night and makes loud noises, which disturbs you as well as your little daughter. In fact, my wife and I have been absent from home for a week on a business trip. Thus, I am not able to take good care of my dog. Today, I write to you. I truly apologize to you.nên gộp ý thì sẽ hay hơn Today, I am writing to you to apologize to you.

Actually, Lisa, my dog's name is very gentle, and so (nên dùng mệnh đề chỉ kết quả) I can guarantee the safety of your family members. But recently, she has caught a cold due to lack of care (nên thêm ý này để liên kết đến ý bạn đi công tách ở trên) and it made her annoyed so she could not sleep at night. Perhaps that is the reason for her actions barking at night. Therefore, I took her to the veterinarian. The veterinarian said that she needed laryngeal surgery so she could not make loud noises at night. Thus, I hope that after operating, you will no longer suffer from any discomfort caused by the dog.

Thank you for letting me know your problem có thể dùng mệnh đề quan hệ để giải thích ngắn gọn những vấn đề thiếu ngủ, ảnh hưởng đến công việc để bài viết hoàn thiện hơn. Also, I would like to thank you for your sincere suggestion ý này phải viết ở đoạn trên khi bạn đưa chó của bạn đi gặp bác sĩ thú ý. I hope this bad situation will end soon. Please accept my apology if because (nên dùng mệnh đề chỉ nguyên nhân) this problem annoyed you in the last period. I hope that your worries will disappear as soon as possible and I always welcome your comments again in the future. I believe we are amicable neighbours.

Best regards,
Mr. Donald

Nhìn chung, hướng giải quyết vấn đề của bạn khá ổn, các ý cũng rõ ràng. Tuy nhiên, cách chọn lọc loại mệnh đề của bạn cần chỉn chu hơn nữa nhé.Cố gắng hơn nữa nhé.

Điểm: 7.5