Time : 2020-09-24 21:49:58
Điểm: 4/10
Dear Riya Nagpal,

I am writing to reply to your letter regarding some concerns about the problems you are facing in the job that you have said in your letter to me. First of all, I am very sorry about some problems that you face about your schedule, your working hours, and also your supervisor.

As you said, I will look again at the mandatory about your schedule and after then, if it's true, I will talk to your supervisor about that and you don't have to work on Friday. I am sorry that you had managed to work on Friday until the last week by missing a few lectures at college, it seems unmanageable in the future as this will affect your studies; I will extract some money to compensate about that, and I will also go to meet your school headmaster to explain about the days that you were absent.

I hope this will not make you quit this job. My company is being deprived of some computer operators so that I hope you can continue this work. And I hope that I will have time to talk to you face to face.

Yours sincerely,

Patrick

Nhận xét của giáo viên :

Dear Riya Nagpal,

I am writing to reply to your letter regarding some concerns about the problems you are facing in the job that you have said in your letter to me chỉ rõ công việc cụ thể được đề cập trong thư đề bài. First of all, I am very sorry about some problems that you face about your schedule, your working hours, and also your supervisor.

As you said, I will look again at the mandatory dùng danh từ sau tính từ sở hữu about your schedule and after then, if it's true, I will talk to your supervisor about that and you don't have to work on Friday tách ý để tránh câu run-on. I am sorry that you had managed to work on Friday until the last week by missing a few lectures at college, it seems unmanageable in the future as this will affect your studies; I will extract some money to compensate about that, and I will also go to meet your school headmaster to explain about the days that you were absent.có quá nhiều ý trong câu mà không có sự chuyển ý, cũng chưa rõ ràng ý phản hồi; vấn đề của bạn là giải quyết các nội dung được đề cập trong thư đề bài chứ không phải đền tiền hay gặp hiệu trưởng

I hope this will not make you quit this job. My company is being deprived of some computer operators đánh giá thái độ cũng như hiệu quả công việc để giữ anh ấy ở lại công ty so that I hope you can continue this work. And I hope that I will have time to talk to you face to face.

Yours sincerely,

Patrick

Hướng giải quyết vấn đề của bạn chưa rõ ràng:

- Chưa diễn đạt đúng ngữ pháp và diễn đạt rõ ràng ý

- Chưa đề cập đến cụ thể vấn đề mà anh ấy muốn giải quyết

- Chưa có hướng giải quyết thuyết phục

Cố  gắng nhiều hơn nhé.

Điểm: 3.5