Time : 2021-01-22 16:29:04
Điểm: 6/10
In this day and age, there is a phenomenon that youngsters tend to listen to or play less classical music. My essay will show some reasons for that and advantages of playing and performing classical music.
There are fewer young people who listen to or play classical music these days due to a lot of causes. Firstly, to study and understand classical music, player must invest a lot of time and money for it. Moreover, classical music is very difficult, only a small number of people are capable of pursuing this subject. Therefore, people tend to simplify everything. In stead studying classical music, they will choose other music which easier to study and more entertaining like pop, ballad and electronic music. In addition, with the development of modern society, teenagers must finish massive curriculum of schools. It is clear that, nowadays students must deal with a lot of more difficult subjects than in the past like foreign languages, technologies and sciences, so time seems to be never enough for them in order to learn and listen to classical music.
In my opinion that although there are some interferences in learning classical music, students should arrange time to play or at least listen to classical music due to a lot of benefits. Many reports of scientist concluded that listening to classical music help improving brain operations and having a deeper sleep. It is clear that it is very beneficial for health humans. Furthermore, classical music help people control their feeling. The gentle melodies will take people out of impulse and angry feeling and bring to them placidity and calm. When connecting with classical music, people can manage their feeling with many specific ways, so study and play classical music should be suggest for young people.
To sum up, with above explanation, although young people have a lot task to do and study, students should arrange their time to study how to learn or play classical music to make themselves better.

Nhận xét của giáo viên :

In this day and age cụm từ này bạn dùng chưa được hợp lý lắm, there is a phenomenon that youngsters tend to listen to or play less classical music. My essay will show some reasons for that and advantages of playing and performing classical music.
There are fewer young people who listen to or play classical music these days due to a lot of causes. Firstly, to study and understand classical music, players dùng danh từ sooso nhiều must invest a lot of time and money for it. Moreover, classical music is very difficult, only a small number of people are capable of pursuing this subject. Therefore, people tend to simplify everything. In stead studying classical music, they will choose other kinds of music which thiếu tobe easier to study and more entertaining chú ý cấu trúc tương quan khi liệt kê với and nhé like pop, ballad and electronic music để dạng liệt kê này sau music. In addition, with the development of modern society, teenagers must finish massive curriculum of schools. It is clear that, nowadays students must deal with a lot of more difficult subjects than in the past like foreign languages, technologies and sciences để sau danh từ subjects, so time seems to be never enough for them in order to learn and listen to classical music.
In my opinion that although there are some interferences in learning classical music, students should arrange time to play or at least listen to classical music due to a lot of benefits. Many reports of scientist s concluded that listening to classical music helps chia động từ theo chủ ngữ ngôi thứ ba số ít (Ving) improving động từ nguyên thể sau help brain operations and having have a deeper sleep. It is clear that it is very beneficial for health of humans. Furthermore, classical music helps people control their feeling. The gentle melodies will take people out of impulse and angry feeling and bring to them placidity and calm. When connecting with classical music, people can manage their feeling with many specific ways, so study and play classical music dùng danh động từ Ving làm chủ ngữ should be suggested (PII trong câu bị động) for young people.
To sum up, with above explanation, although young people have a lot of tasks danh từ số nhiều sau a lot of to do and study, students should arrange their time to study how to learn or play classical music to make themselves better.

Nhìn chung, bạn triển khai đúng hướng của bài viết luận, song phần mở bài, câu chủ đề với từ advantages chưa được hợp lý, chưa phù hợp với đề bài. Bên cạnh đó, có khá nhiều lỗi về từ vựng và ngữ pháp bạn nên xem xét để khắc phục ở bài viết sau nhé.

Điểm: 6.5